FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
