I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
