I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
there was a trapeze. enough said
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I touched a dick in church today
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
