If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
