Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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