there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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