There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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