I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
