Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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