fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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