He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
