Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Randomize
