dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
