He kissed a someone with a penis
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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