I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
