your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
