We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
