Who did Billy Mays play for?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
