OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
