in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
