So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
