So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Everclear isn't food dammit
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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