He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
