Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
