So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
