Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
