i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
