A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Alive.
So much puke
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
