it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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