i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
wanna go halves on a baby?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
