I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
