I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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