Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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