dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
