I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
That accounts for only three of the penises
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
