I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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