The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
