shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
