It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
