So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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