I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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