im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
