He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
