apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
