he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
