At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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