remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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