She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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