I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
she peed on how many people?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
