wat bout pragnant strippers??
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
