the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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