This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
