Small penises have feelings too.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
