She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
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